Muesli & Creeps

I just ate the biggest bowl of muesli i've ever consumed in my life. It was so good. Not only did it contain a vast variety of grains including sunflower seeds, almonds and pepitas but it also included a whole heap of dried fruit such as sultanas, diced apricots and diced dates. To top it off i added freshly made stewed apple and yoghurt. Ecstasy.

In other news, for some of us private school bitches, semester 2 started today. Why we didn't start it at the beginning of next term like any straight thinking school, still remains a mystery. Probably some bullshit to do with the importance of learning.

Anyway, the sudden transition from cool teachers and cool subjects, to inadequate subjects with teachers who are obstinate and grouchy was a little too much to handle, so instead of doing homework i've decided to do up individual informational profiles on these creeps.

Creep #1: Mr. Solomon, Biology

Now don't tell me "Solomon" was the name of the wisest man on earth because this creep claims it all the time. I walk into class today and he's wearing beige pants, a big grey jumper and a "humorous" tie which simply had sheep on it. Perhaps the tie was his own, miserable little way of getting through the day, through the rueful career choice he was destined to pursue. We entered the classroom and for the whole period he just blabbed on and on about how we had to respect him then made us watch some atrocious outdated video on organisms from like the 1980s. We all know what they're like.

Mr. P, History

This guy was absent today so i'm not going to assess him just yet. However i must say he looks like he IS history so he probably knows what he's talking about.

Creep #2: Mr. Trend, Mathematics

This guy contradicted my theory that a person's name says alot about they're character. If this guy thinks the "Huge Bald Spot" look is a trend that'll be soon taken up by hip youngsters he should stay indoors. As he drawled on about matrices etc, all i could think about was how hard i'd have to hit the top of his head to leave a big red handmark on it. He must grease that dome because when i finally did attempt working, i couldn't copy notes off the whiteboard because the harsh sunlight was reflecting off his head straight into my eyes.

Not So Bad #1: Miss O, Drama

Everyone loves the O-Dawg, probably because she teaches the subject that allows you to absolutely chill out and still get an A. She's pretty cool, except when she's PMSing, but at least even then she'll address the class and admit she's being a bitch. Aside from that O-Dawg is the finest that Wesley has to offer.

Shit-Damn #1, Miss G, English.

Make that the second finest. Miss G is the most sophisticated, beautiful, entrancing, sought-after, mind blowing teacher at the school. Naturally, everyone wants to fornicate her. Poor girl is subjected to what, in the non-institutionalised world would be classified as "Sexual Harrassment" on a day to day basis. You know how everyone has those fantasies about getting with their teacher? Miss G is in 15,000 of those fantasies. The shit thing is she's not even my English teacher. She was in year 8 but i was too young and naive to appreciate it. One of the biggest regrets of my life.

Creep #3: Miss H, English

Emphasis on the MISS please. This is my real English teacher. She seems to be fond of the "Character Analysis" tool, if only she could read this.

I imagine that during her high school days, she was the nerdy chick who gave the cool guys second thoughts. However today she does nothing more than whine on about poetic techniques and does the best she can to destroy Literature for those of us who hold it close to our hearts. She also has an obsession with Brad Pitt, hence the posters of him plastered on her classroom walls. Keep dreamin' lady.

Creep #4, Mr. W, Full time creep.

This is the creep who roams the school, on the hunt for students who were 30 seconds late too class. That i can bear. What i can't bear is the fact that he is also put in charge of making sure students get THEIR F****** HAIR CUT.

Doesn't that make you sick?