I recently learnt that these guys think I'm "gay".
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Why i'm failing maths.
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Mr. Jukes calls it "Wasted Time". I call it wasted talent. This shit should be in the Louvre.
Sabelo Magic
Today i sauntered into maths, thinking of ways to waste time. It's actually productive thinking being that Linear Graphing is also a waste of time. Suddenly i noticed the seat in front of me was occupied by someone new, someone who looked suspiciously like Magic Johnson. That's right, new black guy. Turns out his name is Sabelo (but i prefer calling him Magic, Sab, Sab-way, Eat Fresh, Kobe, Lebron, Ice Cube, Buzzer beater, Sab-o-tage, New kid, Baller, New Black Kid) and he hails from Johannesburg.
Now i'd heard about this guy earlier in the week, and it really frustrated me that everyone else was so obsessed with him just because of his colour. That meant that I couldn't be obsessed with him just because of his colour, so i went out of my way to introduce myself and become aquainted with him. After about 10 seconds of listening to Magic's wicked accent i learnt that he is practically the renaissance man. He can sing like Barry White, play rugby, soccer and basketball like a pro and is fluent in mixed martial arts. I thought i had earnt his respect by ballin' with him at lunchtime but when he continued dissing me i decided to try my luck with one of those "Yo Mama" jokes his culture is so fond of. I waited for the perfect moment.
Sab-way: "The oldest chick i've ever hooked up with? she was thirty."
T.S: "Yo Mama doesn't count Sab-o-tage"
After about 4.37 seconds of staring at me aggressively, Eat Fresh burst into laughter and said something inaudible about the size of his manhood and my mother.
"What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies." - Aristotle
Now i'd heard about this guy earlier in the week, and it really frustrated me that everyone else was so obsessed with him just because of his colour. That meant that I couldn't be obsessed with him just because of his colour, so i went out of my way to introduce myself and become aquainted with him. After about 10 seconds of listening to Magic's wicked accent i learnt that he is practically the renaissance man. He can sing like Barry White, play rugby, soccer and basketball like a pro and is fluent in mixed martial arts. I thought i had earnt his respect by ballin' with him at lunchtime but when he continued dissing me i decided to try my luck with one of those "Yo Mama" jokes his culture is so fond of. I waited for the perfect moment.
Sab-way: "The oldest chick i've ever hooked up with? she was thirty."
T.S: "Yo Mama doesn't count Sab-o-tage"
After about 4.37 seconds of staring at me aggressively, Eat Fresh burst into laughter and said something inaudible about the size of his manhood and my mother.
"What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies." - Aristotle
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Weekendly Recapitulation
With Friday night's commencement, i found myself being whisked away to some classy venue to attend an art exhibition of Georgia's father's work. I rocked up (on time), only to find myself under-dressed, being that the residence was filled to the brim with suave-looking, clichè art collectors. No joke there was even a 5 foot tall guy, half bald with a combover and a bristly, yet admirable moustache, serving champagne.
Eventually more underdressed individuals arrived and Chris, Alex, Charles and myself christened a brand new hookah in a seedy construction site next door.
Saturday came in moistened, overcast form which meant only one thing, Migrate to Mt Lawley.
Kallen, Whiteman and yours truly bought several meals with photocopied hungry jacks vouchers, and joined forces with Sims, Maxwell, Mitch and others. The festivities of that evening included, cheap wine, cigarettes, soccer at hyde park, halo 2, pasta, and one big fat cuban cigar.
Where hoodlums congregate.
"Nah man prefer Doom 3"
Never saw that ball again.
He broke his thumb jacking off.
"Thought i'd wear my sex offender jacket"
Al' takes his soccer seriously.
Eventually more underdressed individuals arrived and Chris, Alex, Charles and myself christened a brand new hookah in a seedy construction site next door.
Saturday came in moistened, overcast form which meant only one thing, Migrate to Mt Lawley.
Kallen, Whiteman and yours truly bought several meals with photocopied hungry jacks vouchers, and joined forces with Sims, Maxwell, Mitch and others. The festivities of that evening included, cheap wine, cigarettes, soccer at hyde park, halo 2, pasta, and one big fat cuban cigar.
Where hoodlums congregate.
"Nah man prefer Doom 3"
Never saw that ball again.
He broke his thumb jacking off.
"Thought i'd wear my sex offender jacket"
Al' takes his soccer seriously.
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